Swiss Army USB

/. has a post about a Swiss Army knife with a USB drive built in. I
think they have the right idea but haven't taken it far enough in true
geek fashion. Here's my wish list for combined "tools":

• 1G thumb
  drive
• 802.11 interface, RFMON capable, with jack for external
  antenna
• Bluetooth interface, all three modes, with jack for
  external antenna
• IR interface
• 3 or 4 programmable LEDS or a
  4 character alphanumeric display

Yeah, I know that no one
makes chips for all that together but I can hope, can't I?

Any other
features you'd like to see?